Not a Statistic - My Journey

I don’t usually blog or post about my personal life. It is even more unusual for me to do so about my past. However, I feel I am now at a position (at 27 years of age) in my life where I can look back, reflect on, and be reflexive about my journey thus far—a reformation from a once excluded school student (at a real low point in life) to now working in schools and standing before you today as a ‘PD Lead and Teacher of English’ with extensive experience in Pastoral.

This, in no way, is a post of proclamation to suggest I have in some way ‘made it’. I do not see myself as an ‘education influencer’ or a ‘success story’—far from it. I am sharing my experience only now, as I realise I am in a position in life where I can help people who are in the same boat I was once in, be it people young or old. I am nowhere near the position I want to be in my career—I have a lot of work to do and many things to learn before I can even consider sharing my ‘success story’.

But thankfully, from what was once a ‘point of no return’ for me in life, I am in a position which has long been a personal ambition of mine to attain. I can do nothing except count my blessings from Allah and help others who may be in that position I was once in. I have come across countless students and young people over the years who feel no motivation, no drive, no conviction to succeed—not necessarily because all of them don’t want to or because they’re lazy—but because of some self-fulfilling prophecy ordained upon them in their life (passively or actively); that they cannot scale the heights or get to where they want to be in life.

Unless you have lived with the stigma of being an outcast (in my case, as the ‘kicked out’ student) by your friends, family, and loved ones—all the people that you held in the utmost highest regard—you wouldn’t understand the hardship, the psychological, and emotional bearing it has—especially on a young mind navigating through life with limited experience and their own naivety as their sole compass. It is interesting to look at the current debate on school exclusions to see the myriad of over-exaggerations, emotive opinions, and unhelpful takes, and realise it is a contested topic. For someone who was excluded, I must argue a ‘no exclusion’ education system sets a very dangerous precedent. Loosely, I subscribe to the notion that ‘exclusions should be few as possible, but as many as absolutely necessary’.

In terms of my journey—only the people that know me will vouch for the fact I have never openly spoken about my past. I have always sidetracked from this topic whenever prompted, as it was something I had always resented; something I had always pushed as far as I could to the back of my mind in order to believe it didn’t happen. That THAT person wasn’t me.

YEARS 6-7 (Little old me)

We all have contrasting experiences of school. Laughably, I can reminisce about ‘living the life’ in primary school. I received good grades, was well-liked by staff, knew my entire key stage by name, and fashioned my own uniform colour code (getting away with it), among other things. I was fairly spoilt at home and felt like ‘Mr. Hollywood’.

However, moving alone from my comfortable primary school to a majority Asian, inner-city secondary school (‘S’ secondary school) terrified me. Initially hiding my fear with confidence, internally I was devastated. The transition was harsh—I experienced insomnia and anxiety, slowly adjusting by learning the unwritten rules of survival at ‘S’ school. You have to understand, this was a very different time. There was no safety blanket in settings like that. No rules of engagment like today. Schools like this whilst lauded on paper, had an element of being notorious in student folklore. It is not hyperbole for me to state that this schools reputation (on the streets) preceded it. My English teacher, Mr M, is a notable figure. He built belonging for me and eventually recognised my potential, profoundly impacting my confidence and passion for the subject.

We talk a lot about transitions for Y6 students. Primary school visits, neatly planned induction days. What about those students who from a different catchment area with no known peers. The line that ‘you will make friends’ is a dangerous precedent for the disaffected.

YEARS 8-9 (from good to bad—‘kicked out’)

By Year 8, I loved ‘S’ school, regained my confidence, excelled academically, and felt invincible—complacent even. But early in Year 9, reality hit hard: I was permanently excluded. Initially in denial, the reality gradually sank in. Friends temporarily treated me as a hero but soon vanished.

My subsequent managed move to ‘C’ school was far from ideal, but I took responsibility, viewing it as a professional sentence to be served. Mrs K, my English teacher at ‘C’, noticed my potential, significantly rebuilding my confidence and belief.

Determined, I returned to ‘S’ sixth form, experiencing a powerful moment of reconciliation with the headteacher who had previously expelled me. This profoundly influenced my decision to pursue teaching and leadership.

Now working in education for years I see parallels with students ‘going native’ in these particular years. Schools view it as puberty, or behaviour boiling up, but little insight is given to the over assimilation that can be assumed at this age. Those too confident, or discovering themselves at this age may need mechanisms to temper their expectations and norms rather than writing it of as a a rite of passage.

LESSONS LEARNED

Life taught me crucial lessons in respect, humility, accountability, and resilience. Facing adversity and criticism showed me perception does not dictate reality. The current educational debate between Trauma-Informed Practice and Warm Strict discipline needs balance, careful implementation, and genuine leadership.

A Word to My Younger Self

Societal expectations shouldn’t dictate your path. Rejection is often redirection to better opportunities. Embrace resilience, stay open to advice, and act with integrity. Apologies sincerely offered to anyone I hurt, but I hold no regret—life shapes our character.

What Now?

I’m rekindling relationships, expressing gratitude, focusing on family time, and completing my MA in Character Education. Long-term, I aim to lead behaviour and culture in an inner-city school. Life will lead me where I need to be, guided by service and purpose.